this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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