Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I got a message the other day that just said “great titsâ€
A gentleman AND a scholar
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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