Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
worst night to have a conscience
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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