He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
