I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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