What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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