I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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