Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
