Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
