You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
