i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
