I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
