Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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