Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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