they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize