They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
