Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
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