she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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