Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
