guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
