Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
