No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
