He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
