Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
