I want to have your abortion
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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