You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
