Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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