she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
