you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize