girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
