So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
