no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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