JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
