so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
