And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
