You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
