im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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