Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize