According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
