Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
