we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
