Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
