Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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