Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
