i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize