so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
