sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
