so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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