He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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