I feel like I'm in dance class right now
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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