my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
