tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
