'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
