just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
