So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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