I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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