hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
