i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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