Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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