Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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