The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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