I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
