I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
